Part 2 — Dealing with your own anger in your parenting
Yesterday you figured out some of your anger triggers to keep you from snapping, but what are some things you can do in the moment when you’re ready to snap in anger?
The Practical Parents in Training provides great advice for new fathers and I have learned a lot from them, here are a few things I have done or at least tried.
Go somewhere to cool down
This is definitely not always an option, but when it is please take it. Not only are you giving yourself time to cool down, but you are also modeling how you deal with anger for your kids. They will be much more likely to go cool down themselves when a situation arises since they have seen you do it.
Say your child’s age
There is something about saying to my child, “Levi, you are 4 years old …” before I say anything else. This helps to add a little clarity to the situation. Yes, he is 4. Am I expecting him to act like an adult?
Do some push-ups or jumping jacks
Having a physical outlet can be really helpful. It doesn’t have to be push-ups or jumping jacks. It could be anything.
Lay down in the middle of the floor
Sometimes when I have nothing left, I have been known to do this. It usually ends of with the kids giggling or in the very least looking at me like I have lost my mind, but it does often relieve the tension.
Do a Tarzan yell
A goofy Tarzan yell is much better than yelling at your kids when you are on the verge of losing it!
Take some deep breaths
In through your nose for a count of 4, out through your mouth for a count of 8.
These are just a few ideas to get you started, I am sure there are hundreds more. Experiment and see what works best for you. You never know what might surprise you and work.
Use a scripted response
I talked about using a scripted response back here. Sometimes the best response is one you don’t have to think about.
Sometimes you just need to say out loud, “Jesus, we need more of you!”