My friend has often said that her husband, who is a doctor, tells his medical students to always pay close attention to what a mom says about her child because she knows more about that child than anyone else.

While this is not always true, it often is more than it is not. We know our kids better than anyone else does. We see their strengths and weaknesses; their quirks and all. We know the things they are sensitive about and the things that build them up. Sadly, we are also the first to question ourselves and beat ourselves up.

We need to stop comparing our child to someone else’s child. In the grand scheme of life, does it matter if your child started reading at age 3 or 8? Is it really a bad thing that my crazy, high-energy boys don’t sit quietly and calmly as my friend’s 2 young girls do? 

We also need to stop comparing ourselves to other moms. I think this one is the worst for me. I see pictures of moms doing crafts with their kids and feel guilty that I hate crafting. I hear about a friend’s homemade, clean-eating, dinner and feel guilty that we are eating pizza on paper plates. We need to stop comparing other people’s high points and strengths with our weaknesses. You have strengths, too. Use them and refine them. Make friends with the crafty mom; maybe she will craft with your kids, too!

Next time someone gives you parenting advice you didn’t ask for, just smile and then go back to whatever you were doing. You don’t have to answer to your grandparent, your neighbor, or the stranger at the grocery store.

We need to trust ourselves more. Trust that we know our child better than any of the other voices around us do.

Instead of questioning yourself, take a deep breath and trust that you are doing the best you can for your child. Yes, read the parenting book, talk to a friend, educate yourself; but then trust yourself and give yourself grace. Close your eyes for a second and settle into the idea that you know your child best.

Just breathe, you got this.