For the past couple of weeks, I have felt very tired; physically and emotionally tired. In turn, I’ve been getting easily frustrated and short with my kids.

For a while I kept thinking it would get better tomorrow; I just didn’t sleep well last night; we were just really busy today, and tomorrow will be calmer. Of course, tomorrow came and it fell right into the cycle we had been stuck in.

I know in my head we have been too busy and that I haven’t been sleeping enough;  that I have been functioning on sugar and caffeine;  that I haven’t had any time alone in ages.  It is easy to know these things, but it is darn hard to break the cycle.

It takes some serious intentionality and discipline to change when I feel stuck and tired. Tomorrow, I will force myself to get back into a healthier routine — go to bed before 1 am, eat well, and intentionally schedule out some regular time alone.

Sometimes, in my love for brainstorming ways to deal with problem areas and finding strategies for dealing with the kids, I forget that I am the one who sets the tone in our home.  If I am not taking care of myself, all the strategies in the world aren’t going to help. My kids feed off my attitudes and behavior, and lately, those have been rather poor.

I talked to my kids about what had been going on and apologized. Kids are great at understanding and forgiving. I’m so thankful for the grace to fail and start again. I hope I extend the same to them next time they need it.